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Confidential to Celeste:

I agree with you that I might be at risk of becoming a cliche of myself. It’s true, I am fairly hung up on the same three topics, and could really use something new to talk about.

I find myself obsessively referencing outerspace because it is the biggest thing I know, and it happens to be wrapped around everything else that I know. But all that I need to say about it (outerspace) I have already said, and more eloquently than I think I will ever be able to do again (see the performance Blue Sky vs Night Sky). Even if it (the vastness of outerspace) is more or less the foundation of my spirituality, I’d like to be the kind of person whose relationship with their god is so intimate that they don’t need to go around mentioning it all the time. I know a couple Christians like this. The grace of their faith seeps through the cracks of their actions and words, and the less they speak of it the more it illuminates. I will attempt to let my jet-black questions shine through my silences and my sentences so that anyone who wants to can imagine me and god (the nothing of space) doing our private business in private.

OUTERSSSS

Confidential to Dad:

Do you read my site anymore? It’s been so long since you commented. I know that there was a string of months in the past year where all I could manage to post was a picture or two, so there probably wasn’t very much to say to that. And maybe you had your own things going on. Do you think that in general my writing has become harder to relate to or something? I suppose your demographic might not necessarily be my target audience, but it is nice to think that ideas can cross distances, and your comments often make me feel that way.

 

Confidential to Harmony:

Did my butt really look that big?

everyday

Confidential again to Celeste:

Yes, the other two favored subjects, my feelings and falling in love with a girl, are going to be much harder to quit. I’m afraid my only option is to learn how to write about them more interestingly so that they might appear to be new subject matter, flipped at angles or ripped inside out and restructured. I’ve steeped in these considerations so long I think there might be no separating them from the matter of myself. But if you have any recommendations for other things I should think about, please do send them my way.

 

July 11, 2013

  1. Joe Maricich

    Sorry that I got involved with my own affairs and haven’t been keeping up with your posts. But sometimes it is a bit difficult to relate to your ramblings. You are so much better at expressing yourself than I am, but maybe I should make more effort to do so….I know your mother would appreciate it. 😉

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